And something else after I posted this.

I didn't even shower and am trying to get to bed.

Problem

I'm getting a threatning, rather nasty attitude from th experimenters and trying to go to bed.

I was never bad like everyone else.  I'm still not.

Problem

I haven't showered so didn't get in bed, but I had to m.. twice @ this.  I've never done that.  I keep getting secret messages alone.

Do you like..

..or believe in Ellen the liar?

More

This isn't my idea of fun.  I feel I'm having a wrong kind of surgery.  I am fine.  Quit ruining my life.  Period.

And your dad thinks he has a bright 97 kid now.

Problem

I don't wanna feel my ears.  Right now.

Problem

They're making suggestions to me and I can't just keep pushing it.

All the times people were mean to me people say I deserve.

So-

Were you looking for my blessing of Ellen + Bella?  To always revel in that?  Weird.

All thes black ladies

going thru 2 a limited @ of times

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Thanks

JD I feel so threatened about my own personal well-being.  If you did it for me, I want my sound of mind.  I'm not shit.

I always say though

Whatever she wants she gets.

Hm

Other people are still interested in me.

Look

Who cares @ the baby?  What about the people before?

So

You want Bella to be me?  Everything just goes to Bella and no one else?  Why do I have to act like I have anything?  I don't feel good anymore.  Bella is getting more than she can chew.  Why can't I join in and complain like everyone else?

Problem

They are trying to close me off.

Now what?

Look now what will happen when that pops up @ the English boy every time you go to that tab? Too hard to change.

Problem

The experimenter told me this English boy I care about imprinted had thick hypnotic lines in his eyeballs.

I talk.  Okay?  How many times do I have to post this!

Also, I have a reminder.  It's on the task bar or something.  In a different browser.  Hey what are you talking about all now why did you load the page twice in a row too etc.?  WHAT IS GOING ON.  NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO IT COMES OFF AS AN INSULT.

PROBLEM

I did not insult Ellen, she insulted me.  Sure, she does a lot, but she also does a lotta bad.

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BELLA!!!!

Just forget all this?  No, she thinks I insulted her.  She is the 1 who rejects me.  I mean she thinks I was waiting for something from the past that wasn't there, like no I wasn't nice I don't pass GO.

BAH

This is too depressing and it isn't true.  But yes I got a downer.  People ask why you.  I ask why who.

But

Bella is special, too.

Just so you know..

..there are more Bella's out there, more beauties.

This

is what's normal.  You talk about something, something important you don't yet understand.  It's even how things work when no one else solves them.  This was mostly unnecessary, I was just mad, like stomping my feet, but I must say I am sad for some reason I don't feel as much of Ellen.  It means she's tired of me, when I've just been in misery for no reason.

I could stop, but I guess I'm not feeling that way about time.  I could just say less, but I didn't really know what to say.  What is Bella really doing, I must ask?  She is just feeling good and not talking to me but involved in me all the time online.

All I can say is this..

..I can say something.

Problem

So what is this another punishment?  I'm watching this show every day and this is what happens?  Where are all the other watchers, not online?

Let's just say I fend for myself, no Ellen there.. well, she wants to say she's there, and she's there, but in a way she's not there, though that's not important..  It seems my day isn't full of fun and feeling.  It was before Bella.

Problem

Why am I hooked on Ellen in such a way with all the energy going to Bella??  ':[  I don't care.

Recovery

I am happy but don't feel Ellen.  Never did exactly, but I'm not as feeling happy or anything.  :|

So

I'll maybe go through and read it.

Well

I went on IMDb and people were discussing c***ing.

Phrase

"Who cares @ Bella?"  I just mean that we care @ her too much and not anyone else and that I am dumped.  I can't even feel as well.

Apology

Sorry I was so mad, but you can go back and read what happened.  I'm trying to sort out my thoughts and figure it out.  All I can say is I could be more appropriate, except that some of what I said carried meaning.

Even if..

Even if it's wrong, Ellen is paying attention to Bella.  Too much, like she doesn't care @ me, anymore.  Maybe she doies, but I feel no affection.  I care @ Ellen.  Guess you do, too.  Who cares @ Bella?  What about all the other people from Fort Lauderdale?  What's so special @ it?  You should move there, possibly..then again maybe not.  Not as much as some other people maybe, .. dunno what would happen do you?

What I Found

I don't feel Ellen anymore, but Bella does.  Who cares @ Bella, though?  She wasn't in this.  I will find out what's wrong..

Well, Ellen might need a break.  Maybe, this is inappropriate.  Still, she insulted me, what I wanna talk about?

People are also making fun of me.

Forget her!  I'm kidding @ expressing myself with letters.

Rude

Ha ha how funny!

Problem

Ellen is the 1 who looks like she has a temper.  Now what?  I have to watch the show and she insults me online.  I don't feel close to her.  I also hit my head.

Problem

Ellen does spend undue time on me maybe, but I feel something is missing.  I was happy to have Bella onboard, but now Ellen talks to her all the time.  I don't feel I wanna talk to her anymore.  I don't feel her presence.  I feel like it's all @ Bella.  Why do I have to have her in my life!  She wasn't there before.  I thought she was my friend, not my replacement.  That just means I dunno I can't have her online it seems.  W** is Bella doing?

Mad

I have no one.

There's no mystery.

It's like no Christina.  What is going on?  Should I just call it quits and say hey I really have no one maybe?  I'm pretty lonely.  I think they're talking to Bella through her mom.

cont.

Ellen is acting like that's a punishment I deserve, to lose her kindness and to have to think @ someone younger when talking to her.  I don't deserve any punishment, and she has nothing to say online it seems, always crunching in Bella for no reason.  This is not for Bella to talk about but me letting out what's wrong before I can figure it out without saying anything because it's so hard I know.  Let me see if I can solve it from here?  Bella is getting appropriate attention.  Lots of it.  What about the other poeple?  I don't care if she's from where I'm from, she's still insulting me.  She just planted noises in my room all day, as though I dream @ her.  I understand, but I am not here to put toenail polish on anyone other than I do myself..  I am not saying no don't pay attention to her, but it depresses me each day that I think it's my age, too, and playing around punishing me.  What makes Bella so young and special today compared to her?

Problem

It makes me sad that Bella is talking to Ellen.  It's done in a way that's an insult to me and takes away time I had with Ellen, like she literally spends less time on me.

All I can say is if she did it normally, like judging from more people, I would not be sad.

... Bella was a friend, but now I think because of other people who are making me uncomfortable, I am losing communicating even through the experiment.

So

Is Ellen just putting on something looking for attention?  Was I supposed to take that @ being from New Orleans?  I know this sounds sarcastic, but it's not.  Should I call it quits or no?  She seems to always promise me something good in the end, but she keeps doing things like this.

Problem

So, it's apporpriate for the teens in her audience to feel?? but not I said the fly.  Just don't want to like dip my toes in the water?

Sorry

I had to apologize for some recent things.

More News

Ellen: Here she is.

Here she isn't!

--

Ellen: Stands up and drags Christina onto the staage. Christina is caught up in the moment and reluctantly but happily sits down.

Ellen: So, you're 1/2 Chinese.
Christina: Why, thank you! *blushes*

Wha?

I'm used to being stuffed: chicken, rice, broccoli, corn, carrots, cucumbers.  Bleh.

So

ELLEN I AM EUROPEAN HAPPY?
They're testing the water..  I look okay in desire.

Because you don't have to literally do|think it.

I hope the answer isn't what made me ask.

So

This is my blog.  Let's see what if Ellen asked @ me being Chinese?  "So, you're Chinese, bye."  Or "So, you're Chinese." "Bye."

I have a question for Ellen if I'm allowed.  Why do you think you have to act like you're doing something testy literally, like bad, just so someone can get the feel of it for pleasure, as though they have something and can hurt you?

Sometimes, people don't know if I'm Chinese.  No one who's not got something even wants to be Chinese.

Wow you people have nothing but s*** to go through.

and I don't give a flying f*** @ LA

So

So, you're not in my life.

Ellen is in Bella's life and Portia's life.

I AM WHITE.  BE GLAD.  THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY AND AM WAITING FOR LITERALLY A SORT OF "UNTAMED" REACTION AND NOT AN RESPONSE.

How is that rude?  You're not Chinese.  I don't have to be Chinese.  I chose what I liked racially.  I don't know why you can't go from there.  I am sorry if anyone is offended, but I think if you're offended you're technically used to just tossing out the Chinese like a Holocaust.

I'm not gonna listen that I'm Chinese.  Not if you say I'm different in a bad way.

I know.

You all didn't tell us to blog so you don't have those Cindy Brady's all being responsible for how they hurt us.

What I'd Have Liked

If I was told by people to get a blog at 11 and 12.  You could have done that instead of e-mail.  AH!!! !!! !!! !!!  AH !!! !!!

I feel..

..a sense of strength from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

Problem

Ellen can't accept she isn't perfect.  She punishes and then takes it back each time.  What does she say?  She'll act like 1 thing then go back and say she just did it for fun!  Sounds like someone said her definition is to block older kids and welcome younger 1s.  Important to say not to just toss her but to solve the public interest and your own personal problems.  You can go by and say it didn't happen.

Does anyone have anything intelligent to say @ what is going on with me or just passing over?

So what?

You know people are far from perfect..  WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

Problem

You don't have the right to single me out for stomping as I walk.  SOMEONE WAS AFTER ME.  THEY WERE GIVING SECRET MESSAGES.  I COULDN'T LEAVE.

Mobile Later

may or may not post

My Issue

I could not stand the people last night who thought only I am ever punished..

New Video

New Video of Me Singing

Problem

Do you know how lame this is?

Something else happened.. 1 thing they jiggled something.

Problem

It's been that when I minimize my blog I have to wait or double click.

Problem

Now that WPB Zoo is interfering - ew!  Trying to make this my friend?  YOU ALL WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!!  THIS IS MY LIFE!

Problem

Now the Ft Lauderdale Police are commenting and said birthday, Boston..  ':0  They won't leave me alone!  So what?  I can do that if I like.

Problem

They are threatening me by the week as I speak!  A THREAT.  I can make my own decisions.  I don't really care that I did that.

Also

I just sorta did it as I walked-

Should I feel bad?

@ stomping my feet @ Disney?  I should have walked away but forgot.  I was in a fury|dilemma I guess.  Actually I did it as I walked away hoping no one would know.  They were already at me for no reason.

Help!

I felt tacky saying hi to my mom.. guess it is to be expected.  I asked her why and why when my dad comes home.  Hope she has a goo dday.

Monitoring Myself

So, I was happy enough to watch Sarah Brightman from..last night.

New Orleans

I might be nicer than some New Orleanians in general if not most.  You all are just mean all the time.

Problem

My mom bore in me a hurtful message.. @ my female stuff.  I am more feminine and delicate!!  YOU ALL DON'T CARE.  I AM FEMININE AND DELICATE.

I would prefer..

..to get close to people but not leave me family but not seclude myself to them!

Problem

My mom was looking at me tackily like I was coming outta a womb.

What It Was

I feel my arms jiggle for some reason.  What an animal!

Problem

My mom is also trying to change my body in ways I don't like.  I didn't do anything.  She won't stop being onto me yet wants me out.

Also

If Ellen kids, I take it like I take anyone.  HA HA HA.

Well

I was ignoring someone, and my mom brought it up again.

She also is trying to make love to me, but it's disgusting, I don't quite do that with anyone..

I'm serious.

My mom won't stop.  She doesn't even know what I'm doing.  I am trying to turn her off (on|to me.)

Well

My mom is acting like I'm bad.  She just keeps doing it, all the time.

Problem

My mom again..?..  What do you think?  Do you want me to stop talking about stuff like that?  Why should I?  It's just more work for me.

Problem

My aunt is sending secret messages on Facebook that I shouldn't say I'm part something but all something else.  I don't care @ those jokes.  My mom is chiming in secret message too.  You all mad for Ellen!  I wasn't even talking to her - my aunt.

In the Game For..

Is Ellen in the game to say oh stop to someone @ physical pleasure?

Problem

I was watching something, and they said it would go, someone mad with a spoon, if I had a knife.

Since saying I was mad..

..did I sort anything out??  Because if I stop talking @ it, I dunno.  I just feel something will happen.

I didn't really mean anything violent.  Whatever will I do?  Something will happen.  Don't get me that mad in private.  I was holding back I said while the thought came.  Thoughts came sorta by random|accident.  I would not cool off, not sure if I should have left the kitchen table all alone.  I want a breakfast bar.

OK

Now, I'm going on IMDb to release my sorrows.  It's an entertainment place where you are allowed to practice self-help!  :p

Well

I would like to wish everyone a well day.  Yes, I am innocent.

What Really Irritates Me

You not caring I said I'm too old to be punished.  You leave hateful messages when I wasn't that bad.  Sometimes, the public gets to me.

Problem

I don't like secret messages from people like that, and the 1s from my dad are very perturbing.  I'm literally being attacked.  For some reason I know what's going on.  They're still tailing me!  THEY DID IT MORE IRREGULARLY.  Hey you're annoying.  Wanna be trapped?  :|  Like me.

Problem

They won't leave me alone.  They loaded the page like I have 2 little toenails!  They keep having a stuck up disposition like no one should talk to me.

YOU JUST WANNA SEE IF I GET MAD.

Problem

WHY YOU ALL UP ON ME FOR STOMPING MY FOOT - THAT GUY WOULDN'T SHUT UP

You think I didn't realize it was bad?

Well..

..What I ended up thinking @ Ellen for some reason was like something that came up when I was at the table annoyed at my dad the whole time!

Problem

My dad is involved in my life since Ellen DeGeneres..and Tim Burton.  He left a sign on the kitchen table that that person I liked so much I met in a wheelchair who was skinny couldn't reach her food but could have a present near her..  Also, if I get upset I get in trouble the rest of the day!  GO IN THE WORLD AND SEE WHY PEOPLE OTHER THAN YOU GET UPSET! YOU PATHETIC MACHINE.  AND THEY WHINE FOR GRAMMA THINKING FOR SOME TACKY REASON YOU CONCOCTED THAT RELATED THINGS GET IN TROUBLE EVEN IF THEY HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON.  I did get upset and stomp my foot on the boat, but so what?  I didn't do anything mean.  I did find that guy was unhappy after.  He was being mean.  Go blame him!!  You all are so annoying.  I don't want his carefully concocted messages.  He's not even in my life.  He can't come back to hurt me!  I'll tell a lawyer!  Unfortunately, Ellen made me mad at the peak and I ended up thinking @ something.  I don't know what to do, but I didn't think it on purpose.  You are annoying me while I say this.  You think it doesn't matter, but it does to you!  You don't even care if I'm upset.