19 Joanna 85: 2014

Like I said, what a fuss @ nothing.

Still, though, I can see what I can see. What's this Ginny messages.. "Oh I'll **** ya." Just let shit happen. Let any drooling thought come out all the time. Tell me you're better.. and if I say you're not go and do that again!

So

If I ^didn't mind^ why did you go on and make a big deal of it? I found the message both true and insulting and also in other ways a lie.

Go ahead and confide in ^all the best people^.

The Truth

Why do the English and Germans always act so insulting @ me? I know it's cuz people knew I was Chinese. That's not nice. That's not true.

So what..

..now I feel I will be attacked aimlessly. I took out a lotta words I thought. Wonder what I did wrong that hurt anyone. I was told I was not good enough. Sure, come tell just me that and have it on your life. I don't wanna be blamed for stuff like being poor! What's wrong with how I look?? I'm fat? I bet I got it from others.

Problem

I got a message here that Ginny said there is no more Sarah Brightman. *BEEP* You can't do that and still be respected. Stop telling me I am secret in my family. They are not nice. Like you!

My Belief

I thought she doesn't deserve respect all the time and is a split-personality and ***. YOU WEIRDO YOU SAID OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LIFE ARE NOT IMPORTANT. YOU CAN'T GET INVOLVED IN STUPID..|SELFISH|ANNOYING THINGS LIKE THAT.

Problem

STOP YOU EVIL ANNOYING.. SMIRK. I AM NOT "TOO OLD" FOR YOU.

Problem

Ellen said she did it and there's nothing wrong with my liking Sarah Brightman. I SAID SO!

Problem

You all are mean and need to broadcast yourselves online not just to me. You care @ old people and are just like unworthy to me.

So

What's wrong with these people? Will it be fixed? I guess I got mad at the messages but not specific people. I was made fun of for thinking of who it wasn't. Also, I have a right to enjoy my computer.. not by saying this stuff.

Do you realize

How much of my dedication it takes to post the complexity of the shit you work on?

Also

My dad gave me ham.. I changed the TV.

Problem

Why did I feel pressure when something made a noise over my female sac? Then a hoot and a hollar.

Problem

I got another retarded message that my stomach wasn't held in with a cool breath.

The people in the experiment said "that's Hey Kate." What does that mean? More lies?

Problem

My dad won't shut up with his stupid thoughts cooking.

Post

Post

Don't mean anyone in particular..

Problem

I got a rude message from someone that's really stupid and babyish that "I won't be singing." Talk about ungrateful. I chose not to believe it.

Problem

I am not my parents. I also got an insulting news that someone did something to someone else. They take pleasure in teasing me I'm most like my dad than anything in the world, but that's not true. My parents are clean, basic sorta people in some ways true.. but they've or he's tried to get close in ways that annoy me, .. now being everyone is on the hoo ra ra daughters are their fathers. Too close to say they are a soul mate. That's why people go *** and not marry. You think cuz he's fatter that I must be more like him. I guess it was just an innocent message, but it seems suspicious. It's true, though, what I said. It's not a black and white explanation, though. I don't think it's polite, but it seems to be brought up. I thought of something else, and it seems cheap.. I thought that that someone didn't get help from someone else to say something rude to me. It seems rude only if someone else said it.. Like I said in my last post wasn't mad in particular at the person @ it.

Apology

Sorry, I was upset at some people this morning|last night.. I'm not really upset at anyone but get the feeling they are at me..

Whatever was the matter?

tired

A Change of Events..

I can't believe how violently my friends reacted to my ^spamming^ them.. I mean like they needed it.

Something Weird

What's so cool about me being seen as mentally ill? Like, supposedly I am silly? No..

Sad

The evil onset. Too much batshitcrazy.

Still More Yet

Don't we all admire like Filipinos, etc.? The Filipinos are more easy to relate to. I am interested in this topic but am not used to talking to myself about topics like this.

Importance - So..

..It's important to you as a person that your mom makes you feel good but sometimes others too??

My Letter

This experiment was a failure. The only positive thing is not losing more and more sleep.

Problem

What's wrong if I don't wanna spend the rest of my life on those 2 people?

Well

I'm just forgetting @ my friends, this is shit.

Capable

I am capable of having a career. It's called a deliberate decision.

Complex

So, am I the 1st to say I have the biggest complex being ethnically Anglo-Irish than those with significant English? battling between having both English and Irish? I did what I was supposed to do, and someone found out my real race. :|

Glitch

You can't say I'm shit and that me talking to someone means I'm shit. It doesn't. So, go sniff dog doodoo elsewhere.

So..

I guess some people weren't meant to be amiable.

Digging It

Maybe, we should ^dig^ into the lives of others..

Question

Why would I be a different race than the English? I don't expect much of a response from certain people. I think it's just a way of lying. I am not discriminatory and am quite mixed. I'm not 1|2 1|2 anything at all in a way..

You just know what I really have and know there is no way I could have lived what other non-Enlgish have but maybe the rest of the U.S. ^knows something I don't know^. My mom is all 1 race, so I have that in my genes from that generation of life.

Problem

No, Ellen I don't want to waste my time on your sneaky unexplained private attacks.. I just know you're involved I feel, but that's your fault if I don't know. You're taking away from things in my life that are important and you don't think anything is important..

I still have to think @ your weird messages. So, I'd rather post about things that happen in my life. Watch me try to ignore your changes in my life I suspect you affected.

Bored

I feel I don't have someone to talk to.

Changed My Mind

I don't wanna take singing.. I found a vocal warmup book.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Idea for Polished Present

I'll make an album (only $30 to make) after my summer of voice lessons - May June July August.

simple gifts
scarborough fair
the ash grove
lavender's blue
greensleeves

skip to my lou
frog went a courting
lil brown jug
auld lang syne

I have to provide accompaniment, which is fun.

Going Back to My Roots

Children's Music? Or is it still copyrighted.

No one gives me a chance.

Too Many Things People Don't Believe In

That's what this person has done in mind! Someone is following me. If I move, I might hear annoying sounds. I shouldn't. Hopefully, I don't just make $100,000 but a million.

post by me

Next iTune

Released!

To sing a song by..

..ALW is $243.

Every edible thing has its purpose.

in "the" recording studio-

Friday, March 21, 2014

Mobile Soon

may or may not post

mai voice is all ight

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ISqscycA8e

E-Mail

Copyright

I see that Jackie Evancho has licensed selling your material. How does 1 go about doing it? I would like to play my own version of "All I Ask of You" from The Phantom of the Opera on piano and then dub over my singing. I want to sell it on iTunes. Does some of the profit go to you? How do I do this on iTunes? If this isn't allowed is okay. I hope you can help me find the answer, though. If I give you some of the profit, will you give me a present? :) Seriously, any reward or help in getting famous maybe.. or merchandise from your|a shop. Thank you so much! Thanks.

What I Found There

Ellen doesn't like gambling.

Problem

My hand has been paranoid awhile now..

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Losing Weight

That's why I'm gonna do ballet all week.

I gained 60 pounds stemming from college.

Answer

Do you want to be talked about? Okay, some people are embarrassed and think it's someone else's fault if their weight is the only factor of themselves they dislike.

Lots of overweight people are so kind!

Problem

You do mean things to me when I do something good that you don't like.

Another Request

I don't want people to rub themselves into me.. do you need someone to touch?

Question

Ellen, don't you wanna stop acting like you get all the pleasure, yet? I mean, you do it because people all want you to feel bad and perverted but to feel something for them.

Bad Idea

I got reminded of someone, and it made me go against them. Someone tried to ingrain it in me. This person is doing things like this right and left like some crazy dream. :|

Well

The wrong version loaded, but oh well, I'll make more.

mi song!

link

happy listening

MY SONG MY SONG

TV

watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory on TV

Edit

1st link + added something

TV

It's supposed to be 90s.

link

Claudia Lee

link

Problem

My experience with Ellen is just being against me like everyone else for that N word thing with Nell Burton.

just the other day

AGT

I submitted me singing I Vow to Thee, My Country to America's Got Talent, the 1st 1 and that channel.

The Muppets

Post

Problem

My dad keeps acting like I need to be punished and is not letting me have a good relationship with anyone.

Also

He swung his jacket over his shoulder..why??

Problem

My dad came home with chocolate snacks.

Plan

Hoping I can take non-major classes for dance in the summer.

Ballet

1 place said I could take a placement class. I need pointe shoes, though..

Plan

I will also probably ask my psychiatrist to write me the note to return to the community college so I can major in dance. Singing is easy there, as far as requirements I think, not much to do?

I could transfer to Utah and major in ballet.

So

I'll see if I can ignore it. I dunno why this morning I thought something weird. It was just a thought that was forced upon me and I didn't mean it. It wasn't my thought. I know these things.

Also

I was irritated and thought something weird. Sorry @ it. I don't mean it.

This is rather risky. What should I do? I tried to disconnect and redo my room, but I need to do more laundry next week when my mom's not using it on the weekend. I'm too tired to finish Friday, maybe, and might not have enough places to hang more clothes.

Wondering

So, why does my mom go around irritating me with messages from elsewhere?

People can get upset at me if they want, but I don't think I did anything that bad.. oh well, what was it?

Mean

You all treat me like I'm inhuman. See, you aren't gonna win over me.

What to Do

I need to rearrange my room and do laundry, guess I will try, Mom's napping, don't have good music.

Disgusted

I don't like seeing someone hungry for someone racially, like over me. You're officially ousted from this dignity..

Liar

You don't even accept I do not mean it but could to someone.

Problem

I don't wanna be pressured to see if I do or do not think something bad. It might just come to me. Because of you pressuring me. I am not an animal.

Problem

This person thinks they can ignore me and totally miss the point, has a temper.

Problem

Someone told someone not to post online cuz they were mean to me and I was upset..

E-Mail

I am interested in taking classes.

I did ballet until I was 21 and then took a break and was wondering if I could take level 3A|B because it's the 1 that starts pointe. Can I come in and be assessed? I do not want to take adult classes. Thanks.

Sincerely,
Christina Barrett

Problem

I just don't feel like doing anything.

Why can't I say..

..like how annoying someone is.. I was thinking I didn't do ballet but wanted to but did other fun things, instead..

Problem

My mom is playing around and got me a packaged food that's usually more fresh and said I could have it.

No Shot..

I can understand not being given special privileges, but I have no fair shot at life! You can't just tell me something I did was importantly suggestive and linger on it for your own self .. you know also it hurts me and I don't wanna have it ruin my life, the opportunity anyone gets.. true I'd get in trouble, but if you people were nice I wouldn't probably. You worry a lot, and you don't like to pay attention to me.

E-Mail

I just wanted a full schedule. I see Level 1 is 2 days a week with 4 kinds of classes. It doesn't say anything else about it.

Level 2 might be good since it has pre-point and I used to take pointe class since I'd started at 16-17.

Level 3 would be fine, but when I stopped to catch up on sleep and exercise in other ways I was in level 4, though no I'm not incredibly thin yet. I think I'd like level 2 or 3.

As to looking at level 4, it looks more exciting, but I probably wouldn't go beyond that. I mean, I see it includes Pilates and Character but no Tap.. The last levels, 5 and 6, look too high. I thought they'd also want to assimulate my age into a higher group and consider that I've done some ballet from age 12-21. If you must know my age, it's 27. I've went and done a little gymnastics since then, too, but not much. I find I can still dance when I've taken a warm-up class.

I am aware of your program for adults who have never done ballet and who can pick up fast on dance moves maybe because they did modern dancing. I really don't like that program for me, so if you want me to do that I am not interested. I was in your regular program with the levels when I was 21 but quit because I needed to catch up on sleep. I tried to go back and it was hard but think I may be ready again if I can go back to like level 4 or even if I'm bumped down to level 2 or 3. I'm not fat fat. I'll send you a picture of me when I was in school in the past 2 years.. Well, I found this video: http://youtu.be/jM0MhZV32-8. I'm maybe a bit less in shape or active, but that seems to be about the same size. I just stopped taking body pictures and would have to get on my makeup and everything. But that was only last year, so it looks like I could take ballet. My only problem honestly is memorizing. I am fine, otherwise. I was also looking for a gymnastics program, but they all have insurance issues with people over 18. So, I dunno. The only other thing I wonder is if I took adult ballet in the summer or rest of this year if I could get placed with the kids in the fall. Honestly, still, I don't have any problems that need fixed especially but wanted to wait until a new year started because you wouldn't be rehearsing. I mean in regards to taking adult ballet 1st. I'm pretty accurate and just forgetful, and I know adult classes are more for people who remember easily rather than have perfect technique and that kids classes are more friendly with memorization but like me strict with technique. It's interesting it works out. What I'm doing now is I just had my 1st Disney pass and I sing on my own at home. I'm gonna take singing in the summer if I can from a teacher who is only available then. I know some dance and gym schools offer music. I know I'm too late anyway for summer intensive.

If not, I may try Valencia, though I am not interested in so much modern dance.. I've been there. I'd prefer to go to your school, it has more ballet and "The Nutcracker."

If you want I can come in so you can place me, though, despite my age. I still look like I'm 20, I think. I'll be 28 in May. My goal is to be a pro singer, dancer, and actor, or something like that.

If you say no, I wonder if later the rules may change or something or whatever the reason would be I couldn't. I mean, I am still 27 and look pretty young. Should I jump in a class now? Or make sure I take it in the summer? I guess as adult ballet until the fall comes and I can take it with the kids since I missed summer intensive auditions.

Thank you so much. :) I hope the answer is yes. Please help me to get back in ballet! They let me in the kids class when I was 21. I was in the teen class, and sometimes we'd combine, I was 20, and then I signed up for the regular program with the kids the next year. So, maybe after some adult classes, by this fall I can enter with the kids. I was hoping I could do it now since I did it before in my 20s. I know there was a boy who was 28 in the teen class and in the Nutcracker, so I expect to be allowed. :) So, please help me and thank you, so much! I believe in your school over the Valencia program! I am guessing you want me to come in to see, like Orlando Ballet did a long time ago. They did not want me to come back because it didn't seem right for me. There were lots of teens and they seemed to know the drill, though at your school I didn't have that kind of problem. I would be allowed back if I improved, but they said to go to Valencia. They just said it was a kid thing and they didn't have time to help me and were dedicated to the kids, giving them even extra time after class. If I can't go here, I may try again there. I hope you allow me to return. I'm going to ask all the schools that will answer, just in case I don't get in 1. After Orlando Ballet didn't let me go, I went back to Interlochen for adults which also did a recital, your teen program, and the adult Orlando Ballet class, which was fun but hard to keep up in. I have lost fat and gained muscle since trying to do Orlando Ballet. I was hoping doing the ballet would make me thinner, along with jogging and weight training, which it did. Just a little can go a long way, eventually.

Thank you so much for listening to me, and I guess I will wait for your response, hope you will let me come in and try. :) Thanks!

Sincerely,

Christina Barrett

Think she might have felt pressured?

I got told I'm not someone's friend, "Well, just like that." I was being hurt by them and didn't wanna control their pressure on me of what was thought. I don't claim to have thought it and blame them for inconveniencing me.

Problem

Supposedly, my dad said to do it, and I don't want him in my life like that. Even if I moved, I could still get messages.

2 Problems

The people in the experiment are really giving me annoying or stupid messages.

I keep getting "woken up" to fight something. And I didn't do what I didn't do, you thought of what you thought of, and I don't feel like finding I have a problem and need to fight shit. I probably need rest and stuff.

The people in the experiment believe they fascinate me with their perverted, grotesque accusations and threats, to me and if I have kids, sounds like someone else though too @ the kids. That's not nice and not right. It's just gonna leave me alone in the situation with no way out.

At Least

I've been sifting through as well what not to think nor do cuz it isn't okay.

Why curse? Why not curse?

How I Feel

I feel like I just woke up in the hot sun on the beach. I was on my side clutching an ear plug or so. No one around.

Problem

IMDb doesn't let you pick different colors..

Oh, no, a thought passed when my mom was out. :0 It gets worse sometimes, but now I think my song made people happy. ;D

Oh, IMDb is more advanced now, though.

IMDb - BabyFrog

Problem

They just said to drop dead.

Problem

Was thinking @ my dad causing the problems and suddenly the page loads better now.

And

The person watching me keeps affecting the computer. They don't like me.

Problem

So, people do bad things to me.

Problem

They were mean and I wasn't cursing badly at them.

Problem

They are being mean now and I just apologized for something people do.

Problem

They are threatening people I know to remember them at a certain time.

Mad?

Now, if I'm happy they're mad.

Well..

..sorry @ the suggestions and commotions, have a nice night.

Problem

That person talking to me is being nasty.. they loaded the page crunched up on the sides. So what? You'do something illegal 'someone did that t'you.

Sorry

If I was harsh, but I feel hurt and weird. I was wondering @ how I believed I should be left alone. I mean really, is this some English tactic these people applied, they don't want me? Actually, sometimes in what they do I get little messages, and I mean just talk to me. They won't, and it's weird. I think that's what they wanted, anyway, though. I hope to make money from my singing and live a fun life alone on the beach. Actually, I was thinking of going to college, too, for animation.

Problem

I got up to eat and they called me stupid, cuz I sat when it loaded. They're trying to idealize things tackily. I just have to come back and post this later when they get in a last word. I don't like the dares that are being made at me like a sport. I don't really know who it is? Why can't I be upset? I don't believe in being mean to me. I didn't do anything to anyone. What if I did, nothing recent? They were being subtly racist!

Mad?

Why should I care if you're mad? Are you mad cuz I lost my friends by either repeatedly messaging or was upset at their hidden racism? I told them sorry and they didn't write back, so I think they're wrong.

I was saying why should I care, I believe what I believe. It's something that's not illegal I wanna get out of. People are all holding painful grudges against me since Tim Burton became popular.

Sorry if this upsets anyone. I don't mean to be just nasty, just saying. I don't wanna put up with all that's going along with something I didn't do and don't believe @. I mean, who does that, who would you want to do that? It is a bit weird. I think I may have hurt myself. True, you could go further and pretend I need to take precaution all the time, but I ain't gonna. That must just be the plea, that I'd need to protect myself. No one should care @ me for that, you'd think. It might be nice in that way, whether or not you know it. It did bother me, though, that people actually think they need to do this to me.. What am I to you, a machine or monster? What did I put online that would make me seem to be that hefty?

Anyway, sorry, but I mean I already said sorry. I think they are bad to not talk to me. I am really mad they are trying to control my life that way, get sympathy for something they did wrong, still there to bother me. I mean, they do matter, like anyone would. I just don't know how to settle my thoughts, in a way. Sorry once isn't good? I am nice to them. I don't really talk to them, But I mean I would be nice and wish they would talk nicely. You know, even to say it's okay. I guess we needed our freedom. As far as the burden of knowing them like this, I mean it's like some other people who've nagged at me. I want to have fun, but they make me uncomfortable..

Well, okay for now.

About saying why're you mad.. I mean why should I care.. I mean that I thought I was hurt for it. I can kinda feel a result from it.

I have more to talk @..

Sorry I was a bit harsh.

on Twitter

Apology

I also proceeded to feel upse in the kitchen, no outward aggression. Sorry for some things that I thought, but I didn't try to think them.

Why should I care?

If no one cares @ me? I mean like when I curse @ stuff. I don't really curse that much, though, and used to never. I think I started cuz I thought people who curse provided the world with entertainment. Now, they don't seem to make as much a statement. I think they are well-liked.

Weird

You know what.. my right side feels light and numb and the left filled and weighted down and somewhat mushy. The right side is cold and the left is warm, was sleeping on my left.

Sorry

I should not have cursed at you since you don't like it, but.. I am getting annoyed at being taken advantage of for my being allowed to curse when others do and you don't care. They curse @ people.. Mine wasn't even bad, but it could get worse. I forget what I was gonna say really. Guess no one wants to be cursed at really? So, I can curse at someone else perhaps, no? I was also talking to myself.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

More Messages

My dad can't get me at ballet tomorrow..

Obama is at my old community college tomorrow, but I'm not allowed on campus cuz I was kicked out and need a psychiatrist note. They wouldn't listen to me and I got no credit.

Mobile Soon

may or may not post

Also

I'm careful how I used them.

So, what?

Curse words are just curse words.. if I'm mad I may've used them.. but like I said I'll try not to with people who don't like it.

Sick

The people watching me. I imagined my brain had lots of little tiny bumps inside. I just woke up.

Why?

Instead of cursing, I'll say I feel you are punishing me for no reason. I already had a track going of good behavior and none of it was all bad.

Old Problem

They are getting in a last word they think, made it sound like my dad.

Problem

My mom is upset. She is insulting someone I like.

Also, the noises didn't stop and are stupid and nasty and shitty.

Apology

You're bothering me, it feels like m********ing.

AND

QUIT PICKING @ HIM. HE'S NOT A BAD GUY.

Problem

This is really stupid these people. They are incredibly annoying. They are making stupid sounds. It's so bothering and I have a meeting @ 11. I'm hungry, but my mom is out there. I got another stupid message. I said this was bothering me. I feel really mad. You're making me feel like my dad for Nell Burton to connect to her dad. He is flawed. I SAID NO I AM NOT HIM. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Problem

Stop getting me close to a big touchy feely man like that. You don't have a right to enter my life.

Problem

Since when did you start going over things just to go through them and what for? You're not magical mister maestro.

Skin'n'Bones

You should pay more attention to people who're skinny?

OK

Stop listening to my dad. I'm not bad. I'm me. You can't do anything illegal. I can do whatever I want and my dad would like a murderer better cuz he ^Lives by the tongue^. He does not seem to have connected factually the right way with Ellen. I mean it'd be dangerous for him to be with her in the same room with other people.

Weird

I feel bombarded with stuff @ my dad, like his being kinda touchy feely. He thinks I am supposed to be worse off than he is.

Ha ha

Even the bird thinks who sponsored this .. is shit.

Problem

My dad's always been too edgy like I've done something.

Doesn't Matter

What you say doesn't even seem to matter.

Problem

Stop pushing me to be violent. You aren't *beep* anything.

Does't Matter..

It doesn't matter to anyone.

I thought you mattered.

Cooking

I have a vegan cookbook, too.. nothing good. I should get a cooking with wine book.

Problem

These stupid noises won't shut up. This is illegal. You are are stupid *beep* thinking I deserve this.

What do you think?

I'm ready to die now? I am a real person who posts pictures on Twitter.

Problem

I don't want my dad as dad in my life. I am 27. He's Grampa now. You're all acting like I did something I shouldn't have. That's wrong. I don't wanna curse @ it you curse-fucker.

Problem

These noises are crap.

Problem

I was lying in bed and asked my mom if she wanted my basket, too much of a grump to get it.. laundry.. and she was thinking of something, 1st that it wasn't right to me, and then when I felt like there was something against me she made a loud noise.

I'm not a rat. I just get mad when people do stuff to me.

The noise was like flipping off and made me dead in the head.

What is ya'll's problem? See this out in the open!

I also have a suggestion this has been happening since I was around 12. I don't want my dad in my life like that. Never have. Why can't you take that?

Hey, I heard another annoying noise. You are bad. What do you need to react, me cursing?!

And you were rude in the 1st place.

Problem

Don't get mad at me like I call you shit cuz you keep ticking in a stuck up, annoying voice.

Threatened

They are punishing me for saying that. I am an adult and do not need you. They think they can take away opportunities they dress up as shit. To them life is shit.

Problem

I'm never listening to you. I am 27 and I don't need to. You can't get at me for getting mad at you picking on me yesterday. How much shit of my time do I spend on all yours's trash?!

I can try

not to curse, but it's not geared esp. toward real people.

R&R

Guess I'll lie down. I need a shower after this lady visits to talk @ my mental health stuff.

Remember

Cursing can come up, but you shouldn't make a reason for it. It was just talking nothing nasty.. you were nasty.

Problem

See, it's this kinda thing, they start something really inappropriate and annoying.

Mobile

may or may not post

New Video of Me Singing

with Katherine Jenkins + some really good guys

link

Question

Do you get a motherly feeling from someone with bleached hair who's born in the 1980s?

The magic..

I know you'd care if I was white that I didn't put a period on my last sentence. With me the magic dies when you come in.

I'm Ready

I'm jogging @ curfew

What It's Like

Well, I can do what you can do, but I'm no glitter monster. I wasn't a skater. I was a gymnast.

Hey you know how

Andre Bocelli will cozy up to someone while singing?? at his own risk I suppose. I don't believe in touching friends. I just touch parental figures. I'd love to touch him like a boy.

Idea?

If you prefer, substitute Kate Bush with Karen Carpenter and then see who you are like, her or Sarah Brightman.

the lotto on tv

Fault

It's not my fault, it's the people you want attention from. I was in my home doing whatever I do. You think you found out something then.

So

Is it sorta a taken aback feeling to make some kid feel good like they're better than me, as though maybe I've had enough too.. a bit unatural to say goodbye completely forever.

Wow

I wonder if someone thinks this is a dream come true to have this annoying person annoy me. Someone loading the page funny.

Ruined

So, the world did fall apart because kids 20 and 25 or even 15 years younger could not look up to people born @ 1960 as a mother.

Stupid

If I weren't stupid, I'd have loaded an iTune in 2006.

no to both

I'm disgusting and slimy, not resounding with popping eyes? I said no to both.

So..

I miss the old days with Burton.

Edit

I found a French blog and added it to my list of people.

Website

WAH!

I am like so sorry, wut, Mizz Sarah Brightman, I did not realize .. I did not see you when I was 2. I already was fat!

I wish I wish

I had my room set up so I could kick back and watch TV somewhere. Time for change, it's time to rearrange.

Problem

Someone is picking on my in my room, planted a camera there. I know they just have to hurt me, aren't doing shit.

Racial Issue

Do you see people bring up things like I want the person for this to be blond so we don't have this weird Spanish and Russian crap.. but then when it comes to being important racially like for someone who's English and Asian, they drop it?

Problem

Why did they do something stupid to Blogger and make the time touch over the edge of the column? Will it come back?

Problem

Why is my dad so mean to me? I know he doesn't accept me being nice because he thinks that's just normal for me and is still mean and blames it on the past.

So

just throw away the kids because my dad is part Native American? Doesn't matter for me to look white like my mom who isn't?

So

Bella Thorne knows she had a nice dad. He's Spanish at least partly.

Announcement

My iTune is Simple Gifts from Appalachian Springs.

I'm also very sorry

for how I was this morning. I won't curse at you if it hurts you. I don't think it matters if anyone curses at me, just the whole message.

TV

I've been watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Maybe some part episodes and then 2 full 1s. Not sure what happened to me.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I will not accept no.

Racism is abound. Judging people as not what they seem and changing their opportunities. I will never practice racism, but I am a racist.

My 1st Release

I just released a song to iTunes.

Now, I want my a fancier blog, like with my own Twitter but with a timeline, 1s that light up with special notices perhaps.

Problem

Someone is bowing down to someone for being mean to me. For tricking me in attitude, maybe something a bit bad but more interesting actually. I don't wanna submit to someone who's hurting me.

Problem

This person is saying annoying things in my room and it's not really worth talking.

Problem

This dumb person in the experiment said it wanted my mom. I know that. But you were trashy to her. Isn't that what white people do?

Problem

I don't wanna be picked on for little incidences that are someone else's responsibility and already a displeasing topic. Did I say it @ someone in particular?

Problem

My lame dad I think is hurting my mom ***.. for being nice to me sometimes. Just tell her to stop being mean to me. She doesn't need to do it. No one needs her here. You can't jump in and say you were nice to her, neither, cuz I know no one wanted her. You were just on @ my dad and my race from my mom. At least that's most foik'. Can't find areal example of an exception.

Question of a General Interest

Am I stuck in a situation?

Why I Was Really Mad

People gape at me for stuff.

Wasn't Enough

I am happy for people who have kids, not that I should have them, at least now, but anyway life's short.

Question

Why do you enjoy humiliating me suggesting you'll have a better baby? Maybe, everyone I know will have a baby that's better than me.

Erm

Why should I care @ other people's babies, nothing to worry @?

Problem

This person over a mic is bothering me when I was trying to feel something! They are acting like shit!

Well

What do I have to be happy @ now?

I'm getting annoyed at this person following me in my room cuz it's not my fault.

Problem

They bothered me again loading like a hurricane.

I didn't do anything.

Look at that evil grin. I know. I'm right.

Problem

Why are people picking at me for my every move? I shouldn't be punished for feeling irritated. I see someone has an evil smirk.

They just made my toe go more lose. AH! THEY ARE BOTHERING ME.

Oooh

Very interesting, to you a kid is what younger people are. Guess I'm on top. Ha ha did that hurt?

My Thoughts Exactly?

You just wanna hurt me to like other kids.

Problem

You think by magic I'd wanna be with my dad more than my mom for a certain reason of aesthetics. I feel stuck with just him. He needs his life, generally feeling.

So..

..Am I supposed to focus on something? Not sure how, I only have Blogger and Twitter.

Did I do something to deserve to be poked at? It is all very abstract. What exactly is it? I just like to talk @ my life, and this is my life. You can do what you like and forget @ me, I'll be sad and wail and plea.

I now am just a failure but will not feel forgiveness. I cannot believe that I ever even lived this.

Problem

Why does my dad linger that he's a sneed saying he's stupid fluff because he has me?

Something to Talk @

My dad is a sicko. What if he told Burton to have Billy to affect me at a normal time in my life? What a lame, good-for-nothing- thing. If these women were all younger, they'd be able to have had babies supposedly. I was only thinking of it so my baby would come when I'm a traditional fresh age, 27 not bad. I am 27. The baby would proceed to be more important than myself. I was gonna not have kids unless maybe at 40 but now I'm thinking not, unless my life really changes.. wanted a boy and girl a year apart. Hoping for this English boy. So proppa (proper.)

I forget, I wanted to say something of the nature of Burton and Depp.

Animals

Won't say what's wrong.. sorry if you don't wanna be called shit.. don't think that's what I meant.

You just scatter out insults throughout my day and make me feel guilty when I wasn't. You prolong when you discuss things of interest to just you.

Problem

Someone is alluring someone over me. They can't get enough of themselves.. Who? Well, you're not all that if you're mean to me. You are not the only 1s allowed to be that way.

Problem

They want my mom to touch me for that. NO.

WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE @ THIS.

Problem

They called me a nigger. THEY ARE BEING TACKY AND ANNOYING AND INVADING MY PRIVACY. I HAVE FRIENDS IN THIS THING. WELL YOU ARE BEING A BITCH. YOU ARE NOT RIGHT.

And they said I'd never do some thing for a nigger.

Humph!

Wow, if this bothers you so much you must really be popular.

Problem

Yea, why should anyone care @ you? Also, they called me crap like crap.

:(

Just waiting for the next attack.

I thought I had already put some thought into some mistake. If you also like kids with the overly presentable parents, I thought you said my parents were good so I shouldn't have been born?

Rathuh Quiet

Wow, talk @ AC-DC.

Anything I say..

..make anyone hurt me?

In the Process

of applying to colleges out of home

Problem

My mom is trying to make me act like an Orlando person. HOW SICK. I don't know what to do, should I report her to a lawyer. Cuz a police could talk to her and take me instead.

Also

Other factions are being annoying to me. They are acting like shit, too.

Apology

Wasn't trying to be a nasty person. As far as anyone saying bye if you want to you can but I see you didn't.

Also my mom keeps acting like I am just shit, what am I supposed to do? I also loathe appealing to the people of Orlando.

What's this?

Your joking? I don't wanna be placed under you! You wanna say goodbye? Guess I'm the only 1 ever in need.

Problem

Who wants to be waken up on any ole day? I saw my Tweet and it looked like my head pops up. Someone did that with someone else so it'd happen to me. What a "crazy-ass" joker who doesn't get shit done to them.

What Whimps

Threatening my life and my daughter's?

Problem

I don't wanna play around either with the people of Orlando on "this case" of yours.

Problem

People are treating me badly for something I didn't do. I was upset at something being rubbed in while I was tired while my mom was driving me! I don't just get up and think at your command! What're you doing now, trying to wake me up?

Problem

They are asking me inappropriate questions or something, too. They are making me feel attestable to something I don't think. I guess someone is really messed up and doesn't have to follow rules and thinks she can make you feel guilty.

Edit

I tagged my last post.

Problem

My mom and someone else are funning me for someone else just because of when they were born. They are easily ticked and wanna use me for their fantasy. They are princessing someone, and 1 person really glared at me that I "did something" when I'm guessing it was something minor that was pushed on me. I also don't think it's in a way|like keeping track of shit. Sorry if anyone thinks it's offensive. Don't mean any offense.

Auditions

due March for America's Got Talent

E-Mail

I'd like to audition to be a singer.
Me
To auditions@madcowtheatre.com
Today at 1:46 AM
I'm pretty much a pro and recently even gave up learning music via piano, organ, etc., to focus on developing an okay voice.. I know classical music and was a huge fan of Broadway.

I've wanted to be a singer since I was 5, though, just shy to sing around others, like my parents. I was in choir from @ age 7-20.

Please let me know how I may schedule an appointment, thanks! Let me know of any contracts, like what I'd do for say a year. I'm not sure exactly what the auditions are for, as I thought auditions remained open to the community as they came. Can you explain to me what the auditions exactly are for? Thanks!

Also, I've done ballet, so let me know - I just noticed you had auditions for this. I did ballet for a span of age 5-21 and a bit in between then and now and plan to take adult ballet @ Orlando Ballet School starting with Basic Ballet. My only problem seems to be memorizing. I did gymnastics 1st more. If anything, I want to focus on singing. The ballet for me has to just be extra, and it teaches me to move when I sing classically or even in musical theater. I know some places alot your time to different things, so I may want to be a singer and dancer. Can you let me know how to be a dancer and what they do, thanks!

I had just been doing acting with Ginny Kopf @ Valencia. I took all 3 of her classes and take voice from her in summer. I am in a group that does some comedic activity when they're in the summer, too.

Yes, I was involved in theater before a lot, too. I even accompanied some.

Thanks, so much!

Christina

Facebook FL Album

link

Monday, March 17, 2014

Problem

What's wrong with my mom.

She believes in suggestions and keeps doing it in secret message to me, like calling my future kids crap and stuff. Any time, she'll just say it. She doesn't actually even read my blog..

Apology

My spoken apology for the word shit if you are born @ 1960.

Something I Will Never Want

I am actually listening to "Ti Amo" now and it makes me think of families with people born @ 1960 acting dumbfounded about it being so snide and snazzy, like the person asking is more special and whatever shit comes out is all that's necessary and they have the best of times.

Because you see I said the same of Chloe Grace Moretz, born 1997. She was in Dark Shadows with Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. She really is fighting for Tim Burton. She just had a few roles, and everything she did "just had to be right!"

I'd love to sing with..

..some good kid singer "Tell Him" and I be the 1 with the problem.

Apology

Sorry for something strange I said and the weird accusations. :|

Problem

It seems like every day, something stops working or something new starts. My YouTube playlist isn't working.

Edit

New Video I forgot to publish

link

Funny

I wanted more time with my dad intellectually. I do talk @ feelings with him..or did.

So, anyway..

Welcome, David! Let the celebration begin!

Goal

This is all life is @ for anyone, I have a journey and want to be who I made as my goal.

I know what it is.

It's kids with dads born @ 1960. They have the popular dads. I wanna be nice to my dad, but people are pushing me not to have any mystery in this world. I'm saying we're different. We do have some things in common, but I find that with lots of people. I'd say my parents are pretty neat, pretty self-giving. People just pressure me to get too close to them for no reason.

Issue

I wanted to be happy @ my dad reading my blog, too bad @ the funny feeling, like he might try to pop out some emotion..I mean like feel like someone he's not and doesn't wanna be just to enclose and bother me, get what I'm saying, big guy not my business, mean to me since going to the mental hospital. People think I am "related" to him in desire. I dunno, we just don't have that relationship, but I still wanted to have strong relationships with others, friends. I don't have any! I don't need to be with my dad so much more but not friends. I have different desires on who I wanna be. People are not clones.

Problem

You all act like I need my parents more than you. Like I'm still a 2-year-old. I do talk to them..and live with them.

My Blog

I did invite him to go to it. I just know that he might use it against me, but he won't know what's going on and he doesn't always comment, too, anyway, but no one does. I just got a funny feeling, esp. with how things are it really messed up the thinking of this.

Question

So, my dad thinks he will keep up with my blog, but he seemed to do it in a way I didn't like. I've been sending him links to post on my forum, too, not much to comment on on my blog now. Like, I know my mom pushes me to be a daddy's girl in a way I don't like, like he's all big and ***. I don't see this happen to other people. Who's idea is this? Some annoying racially thing? What else.. Also, you can comment on my blog and forum. He didn't yesterday. So, we won't really know what he wants to think|say @ it. My mom also came in the room and gave me another annoying secret message, I think a message from someone else. She just sat and stared at me, inappropriately. People in Orlando do that, actually, but maybe in a different way.. Why do people push me to be like my parents when I'm better off how I was? Maybe, they need a taste of their own medicine, though I'm not imposing their own sin on them, just saying. It's actually quite morbid to me.

Coming Home From School

Isabelle came home from college, her 3rd year as undergrad. She was 20. Georgietta ran and jumped to her.

They all enjoyed a nice meal. The snow was cold outside, and they had to make way for a nice stay. Georgetta, 8, helped make Isabelle's bed. Isabelle had white, wavy hair, and her sister of whom she was like a mother to, as well as their own, had curly light gold locks. They had another sister and brother, who were both older.. the brother the eldest..

They had a nice 2-story cabin. Father was away at sea, and mother did all the housework. They lived in the woods and could ride into town within hours.

New Videos

New Videos of Me Singing - 10|10 - bitersweet, smooth, perfection

If I Fall Asleep

2 videos loading that aren't bad, pretty good and free actually.

April Shopping

socks
-white ankle - $4
-black - $4

bras
-2 size 36A|26B - $20
-3 size 36 sports bras - $9

wig
-http://www.voguewigs.com/cowgirl-haute-forever-young-wig.html
-$42
-reddish brown

-$37

What I mean by close..

..is he is acting like he is someone he is not nor that he even would like to be. He will not act in place of someone born in 1960 or 1970..

Problem

Tim Burton made my dad get close to me, but I am not close to him, I just like talking. Don't take that a way I don't like, you don't know me..

Upset

Too tired to work out more than 5 minutes of a warmup. Was going for 40.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

New Videos

New Videos of Me Singing - nothing very good yet

Problem

These people are sending me messages with sounds and stuff in my room, and if I had a bad day they just chose to rip me apart. It was only in thought, too. I don't like this. I know it doesn't matter and isn't my fault.

New Videos

YouTube

Problem

I don't know, for some reason I get nervous reactions of violence in my head.

Feel sorry my dad seems tired, too.

Problem

My mom wants me dead forever and thinks I'm my dad, but she won't stop! I don't wanna be like that ever. She doesn't have to do that! I'm too old for her! My dad is fatter.

Problem

Ellen is making me mad and making it so no one likes me, thinking "1, 2, it's like that," like I'm just shit. I keep getting annoying messages. I am trying to ignore them, but for some reason she wants me not to think of certain things, like hitting people. This has stuff at stake that matter.

The Book on Self-Control

Only stated to prepare yourself entering a room like, nothing @ if someone is playing with your head and you can't get them to leave at all. What should I do? I don't wanna listen to them.

I'm not actually a person to them, I'm mixed, how convenient. WELL, APPARENTLY I AM NOT A MUT.

Upset

I got so upset but now I'm on medicine. I didn't do anything the police would care @.

I mean it was in my head.

Choices

I'm disturbed enough that if my singing is made fun of by a certain person that I wouldn't actually do it, but that I would if Ellen did it.

I need to leave this place, but I hope my teacher can help me sing, may not even go to Disney next year.

You know, I came here wanting to do ballet and didn't know if I could karaoke online or not actually, so.

Even If They Did

Why?

Bothered

Yes, bad things are coming outta me but I don't think I'd mean it unless I were sure of what someone I liked did to me. I just got no proof. Maybe, they "wanna be left alone."

Problem

I have to watch how the page loads each time, too.

Problem

There are crazy noises coming from a machine in here and I think from the neighbors.

Mad

People were mad at me because I checked Twitter when Sarah Brightman might be on. I see so far she's skipped her daily post on Facebook. I was checking just to check, though.

Problem

They reminded me @ brushing my teeth when I was thinking @ food. It's not like I forgot.

Problem

I'm being punished by my day ruined for no reason. I wanna think @ supper, not @ brushing my teeth. Then they did another reminder to stimulate someone. YOU THINK I'M A NIGGER? You don't have a right to sit there and push buttons on my life!

Problem

My parents "changed around the furniture" supposedly because of something I did. I will not accept you people coming in and punishing me like I'm bad. I even think people like Ellen secretly converse to my parents for some bad reason. I don't do anything bad. Just because you picked on other worse kids before does not mean you can pick on me all the time like that. We should pick on you, instead, if anyone, or those who wrongly went on and on.

Dream

I remember my dad was giving out chocolate. I turned into a "Photoshopped" little dog or man. Anyway, then I was like a caterpillar in the Main Street Electrical Parade moving along slowly.

Later, Ellen was in a cave saying only tell them the new discovery if they key is lit up. I struggled up to hear, something in Eirope I think.

I think it was a dangerous scene.

New Videos

New Videos of Me - but nothing too exciting

Perfection

Why does that gripe @ Ellen, if I can't keep track of a thought? I know this friend said she used to be more like a valley girl with a rubbery figure but didn't and now is working on something ^bigger and better^. So, with other people who look either rubbery or more like glass, that connects to this situation?

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Mobile Soon

may or may not post

Something Else

I feel doomed if these feisty friends don't get new friends cuz they don't want me.

What They Get

I'm not mad if my old friends get anything, but I don't think they deserve nor earned it.

You can tell I'm like bottled up.

Problem

The English people of the U.S. I know already are rude. Sad to see popular people connect to their level terror.

Poll: Spam

What do you think should happen for e-mailing friends and family a lot without them answering 1st? Some acted like this was it.

Some of my life should somehow be sacrificed over that of those affected.

I just wanted to say they aren't worth it anyway, all those people are bad, but still you should be affected wrongly.

Some people know it wasn't for a bad reason, but still I wouldn't talk to her.

Sucks for me, if I were in Christina's shoes, I wouldn't take any compensation, wouldn't take punishment.

They should have nicely told Christina why they were acting weird and not responding.

Christina didn't know to get on Blogger, so it's not her fault she didn't know what to do.

I just want the most popular men and women in the world to stop talking|thinking out loud @ it.

The people who didn't answer in time of need should be forgotten or punished a little.

If it weren't Christina, no one would care.

Poll Maker

Well..

Most people think it's bad to be mean to me for e-mailing my friends too much, I'm gonna make a poll available.

Problem

Now, the belly button is still on the side.

Problem

They just won't shut up. They said this has to do with my mom. No, it doesn't.

Problem

Now, the belly button moved to the side.

They just did something else, stacked the things I pasted up in between.

Problem

I got another message.. I don't know who it's connected to. It looks like a belly button.

I got another message and my eyes went out.

They also said they made my nose a button more and that I won't see it..

They won't shut up for good.

I don't like this person so much, they're being so mean.

Okay..

problems.. this has nothing to do with anyone, but does it give you a deep-seated feeling of anger to know that the world teases you and does big things for your friend|s that have neer spoken to you much since they has paid you a visit and a few dinky posts online back in 2006?

See, I used to keep e-mailing if they didn't answer me. I didn't realize why they didn't want me in their circle of friends. This friend is doing it like a sport.

I just predicted the future. If you have to mention it is okay, but I am in deep loathing.

Now, if someone does it I don't really like it, seems a lot of people don't do that.

What can I do? At least I know how I feel and know why I would feel like exploding and stop it.

I'm listening to myself sing and am gonna get dressed.. I just came here mainly to turn on music.

and I can't believe how tackily happy someone supposedly is by this whole thing. They never did anything like that before that I know of.

Also, my neighbors keep bothering me. I think they are timed to do it.

Like, someone who didn't write me back is selfish enough to expect so much from the world to do with me.

What do I do now? I got some mean messages in my room that sound like clicks. They are selfish.

Bed Soon

New Video Loading - Let It Go

New Videos

New Videos of Me Singing - initially 8|10, shows technical work

Upset

I feel everyone suddenly thinks I'm trash and stupid.

If something makes you really mad and you don't know what to think, sometimes you think something nasty but might not mean it. If you're been attacked do not need to be inconvenienced with stress. If you are so mad you can't control your thoughts means people are just busy plotting against you, like they gotta go potty. It comes up to them as something that bothers them, but really they do not matter in that way.. It is super *** for something like that to alter your life. Not much in it in this world. I don't think anyone has a right to affect me for their own hide. I'm already "a good person" and what I said is right.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Facebook

link

Sorry?

@ e-mailing my friends too much? What's wrong?

Mobile

may or may not post

Problem

I'm trying to go back to bed!

So There

I'm left w|o a friend in the world. My pimple is being made fun of somehow and tried to stay from what someone did for someone on my Facebook. This was even supposed to nt be spoken @. You all are just mean to me. You're messin' with my body!!

Don't even tell me my old friends matter. They aren't talking and are having an attitude.

New Videos

New Videos of Me Singing - some good stuff

Before

I wasn't necessarily denying what you told me you said. I guess I just didn't have my thoughts straight. I'm worried cuz they were mean to me 1st. No one has gotten mad at me but comforted and bowed down to them. But I wonder if we will all wonder what about the other people? I would like other friends, too. I do have a connection with my old friends, but maybe it's a skin deep relationship. So, what do you do? You can't send me to jail nor get anything in court because they didn't tell me to stop. I thought they liked it, too. Just didn't write back. This other girl I was upset but not too too too mean. I mean why can't we move on? Yes, it was 2006, a more serious critical time to pretend not to watch. You'd forgive someone else because they're more interesting to you. I don't want anyone to ask what's wrong with me cuz it was something stupid I did. So, that said.. I did say sorry and talk to them a little and never a response. I just know there's other fish in the sea when it comes to some things. I mean what should I pay them? I don't see why I'd think @ it if they don't talk to me, though. I think it's that they don't wanna talk to me, anyway. Maybe aren't comfortable or want new friends.

A Real Baby Sitter in 1's Mind

Christina was on the bank of an old town in America and was thinking @ the other girls and what needed to be done. She could not do much to comfort for they only obeyed their mama.

The sun was up high. Christina touched 1 girl and swerved her over and told her to put on her bonnet for she already had freckles and grayish hair and a squinted face. She smiled and obeyed.

A lady took her hand and told her of what was to happen, they were to practice singing in choir. She was invited to learn to play organ and learned pieces that were not used in mass. She was 12, but it wasn't too late, yet.

They practiced in choir. There was a posse of underdogs with her her age. She ended up at the organ, though, a new addition to the children's choir.

After church they wandered a ways by a dock and had a singing and dancing celebration. There was a big reenactment. Year was 1750. Christina had on her pink frock with spots and hair in braids, bonnet on. There was mad fiddling going on. Some older ladies really got into it.

A Proppa Gul

Christina was the oldest girl and had raven hair with a sunny tint. She sat in church with her Bible, looking forward to what awaited next. The girls were fidgeting and telling.

All the Witches - all fall down

There was a romantic dude sitting on a rock named Puck Luck. The girls gathered round to hear what he tell, for he know where the evil spirits dwell.

The Witches of Town Little Big Town

People were still wearing those big evening gowns. The girls who were little were in their rooms. Christina was the youngest, age 12.

So, Christina was in her room with her cat feeding it cream.

All the girls and boys of town gathered at once all around. A merry festival to bestow to the people here below. They played jump rope and bridges of town, for all the people are falling down! Christina joined in in merry well, everyone else she thought could just go to Hell. Instead she fell, and the youngest was picked up. No reason but accepted it was enough.

Babies Wanting Mommies?

Babies! Ugh! Who needs em?

Anyway, there were several girls named Dierdra (20,) Chloe (18,) Sylvesta (17,) Belle (16,) Georgietta (15,) Sally (14,) Christina (12,) Anastasia (11,) and the little 1 Beth-Amy (7.)

Christina was with Anastasia and Beth-Amy. "I wanna be the baby!" said Beth-Amy. "Okay," said Anastasia rather forcefully but against her will.

They went outside, but Christina was left alone with some other younger girls and people from town.

She sat on the bank of the lake concerned about the other girls.

Story

There was a special girl named Celesta, which is also the name of a beautiful twinkling piano instrument. She had slanted eyes and medium blonde hair, blue eyes. She wore a sunbonnet. She was very deep and learning @ the world from time to time. Another friend greeted her with big blue eyes and dark brown hair. "So," said the 2nd girl, Sophia, "Who's your mama?" "Oh.. I am a lone maiden." She started singing some blissful song. "How.. old are you?" "I'm 1 hundred years young!" and with that she stripped of her dressed and jumped into the little lake. Sophia giggled and followed her.

Word Choice

Excuse my sloppy writing, did not really want to appear as insensitive as a brick.

You know..

I write a lot on Facebook compared to others in a way. So kick me.

Problem

I thought you used to tell me not to worship my old best friend. She is teasing me about my messup. What is the real problem? I'm just a nigger? Then, why do other people still talk to me..most don't, they do think I'm a nigger but still talk to me and sometimes tell me I'm a nigger.

Problem

My dad said something 3 or 4 times by my boy sac thought it was my girl.

New Videos

New Videos of Me Talking

Twitter Cover Photo Contest

Sarah Brightman

link 1

link 2

Help!

They're making me naturally suicidal!

Accidents do happen..

So, I made a mistake by accident and want to help people.

Issue

You all make statements and were all trash being exposed to things young and then saying I can't do it at the right age!

Liking Me

I thought you liked me. Maybe, you're like my friends.

You all don't even know who I am. Everyone caricatures me as a part Chinese.

More Messages

I will not be treated differently for my technical race.

Problem

My mom is telling me I'm not deserving of 1960 born people but others are and went to bed. Ellen said it. She said it has to be amazing. I'm not doing anything of the sort! Those spoiled brats. I think my aunt did it, too. You all are criminals. I can't wait til I die!

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Drugged?

If you did something bad to yourself, I won't do it to me.

Problem

He doesn't even think.

Problem

He thinks girls born @ 1960 are all that and wants me as his scapegoat.

Problem

My dad is abusive. And it's stupid.

Problem

What's your problem? Why are you always getting mad at me! WHY DO YOU NEVER MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! COLD AND LONELY!

Well

No one actually listens to me. A ha! ha! ha!

Wut??

So, what, you wanna fight or get outta my life? I don't wanna be testy. There's not much to be said of it.

Well

I tried talking to them again, they won't talk to me. They are so stuck up and annoying and think they have to belittle me. Like, "Ow Kaey."

I wasn't talking @ it, but now I find I am. It's a problem.

Critical

My mom does not like that.

Pooor Ba by!

Someone English rambles on like they're oh so old, when no one agrees with them.

Conclusion

If someone else is too lax @ you, then you can be lax @ thyem!

Also

I'm just expressing myself. I wasn't trying to point out people.

I don't care.

So what, you want me out. What did I ever do? You all are just coasting along in selfish pleasure. You'll be sorry you chased nice people away!

So..

The English are stuck up. Fine, I can see no one wants to talk to me. All the other non-English want the English, too. Oh, so fancy!

Question

Why would you reward someone who was mean to me so much? Didn't talk to me when I had no one. Never talked to me even when I found something else to do, well maybe not. What, am I shit? I might not be in the right frame of mind saying this, but I don't mean it in that way.

Mad

None of you have a right to be mad at me for sending all those e-mails. They were educational pamphlets!! Christina had no one to talk to. She would go mad and die.

Problem

I DIDN'T REALIZE I COULD HAVE A BLOG.

Problem

Oh wow.. lots to tease.

The Problem

Why let the world revolve around miserable brats and bitches and bastards?

To Make Up?

I'm sorry, but I've already apologized enough! Is this just your fancy? You like everyone I know better, my worst nightmare. I have thought of this in my subconscious often in the past. People think since I'm good I soaked up pleasure they didn't have, but that's not true.

Just tell me.

...what's wrong with what I just said? You can't arrest me for good.

There's nothing that wrong, I'm still learning and that's how I speak. I chose to be that way. Make no mistake. I didn't mean anything bad against anyone, but these friends who dumped me don't talk to me! Why talk to me about them? I just sent educational and uplifting messages. You know, there are companies that do that like Luminosity. These friends are mean to me, anyway, does it even matter? 1 of them is almost always mean because I am hiddenly Chinese.

Problem

I wasn't even actually against you, I'm against my old friends so much I cannot say. The world should s*** them nothing for't. Look, that's the 1 thing I don't want, my friends in my life. It's been that way since we were younger, the suggestion that they were important over me.

They just happened to be my private friends. Do they matter so? They're the 1s who probably influenced me by being mean 1st! Why don't you all GET IT. I'M RIGHT. You all are just animaling at me. GET IT DONE WITH YOU BEASTS. Or I shall be your slave master!

Read this..

only if you know you won't get mad at me I was thinking of chuckin't, but I did a lotta work and it might help me, don't know really what I can do but express my displeasure and disgust in the change of tone etc., things you don't want me ever to say.

Sarah Brightman:

"Calling all creative fans! Sarah is giving you the chance to design a new eye-catching header picture for her official Twitter profile. To enter, tweet your creation to Sarah by tagging @sarahbrightman or upload your photo to Sarah's Facebook wall. Twitter recommends dimensions of 1252×626 and a maximum file size of 5MB. The ten most innovative entries will be added to a Facebook album and all of Sarah’s fans will have the chance to vote for their favourite. Good luck!"

It makes me think of my friends who didn't talk to me in my time of mental need! Fine and dandy for all who had no problems back in 2005.

Oh my God, something just "went through my head," too, how ***!

That is suggestive, and I know what it really says. What happened? You on the other side? I don't care @ pinpointing ideas. Tell me, what is this outrage!

You all are just overly sensitive, antisocial, etc. etc. You are suggesting lies @ "loved ones" if indeed I'd have any.

Look, no one cares about my mean older friends. They are not supposed to be a thorne on my side, getting attention and coming up in the world. This is an outrage! What did they ever do to deserve whatever they're deserving?

These people do not include me in their social life. WHO ARE YOU TO GO AGAINST MY LOVED 1s? Is it something they did to you that I thought of?

Yes, my mom trapped me in my room and told me I could work when I was just kicked outta school for poor health of some sort. For some reason, I never even thought of getting a blog! Why does everything matter so much now?!

Your post risks losing me. I wasn't mean to anyone. I just sent them sweet e-mails and ecards, no word saying no. I had nothing to do. Probably no key to the house..yet

Fine, send me animalistic symbols via things in my room, glitches and clicks! after all I worked on to type this out. You fighting online? Guess this isn't all it's cracked up to be.. ahee!

They are pulling from loved ones relationship. Just explain! You got nothing. No one does, and I already told my parents I don't care what I say. What did these friends do to deserve your violence toward me? I don't like these dorky symbols. I'm not going along with anything with anybody! If you're mad, I'll blame you! What's the big idea, stealing into those in my life and taking what I deserve!? What a worthless life! How uptight and stupid is everyone. I mean what I say, I don't mean something rash. My only language is English! And I know how to write.

Problem

Can someone technically be born by mistake? Yes. I already smell that Nell Burton is a punishment. Same with Billy Ray Burton and Helena Bonham Carter.

Problem

My dad thinks he can say go enjoy my life, but he ruined it and says, "..BUT -THEN- IT'S WHAT."

TV

I need mine fixed, some button.

New Video

Loading in an hour - me talking sadly

Mobile Soon

may or may not post

And

Why yo care

Question

Why are you teasing me like I have a chance of going on in life without anyone getting especially mad at me as a college expeller and flunker?

Love Birds

There was a dock. Christina had a best friend named Sarah who was 10 years older. There were other girls, mostly 15, 16, 17. Boats would come in. There were different crowds. Christina sat and soaked in the environment for the hours on end. The smell of the mud, she didn't even want to eat now! She was small and frail with curling, smooth gold hair and bright blue eyes. Everyone would take care of her cuz she was still just a child.

Story

There was a beautiful maiden named Sarah B. She had a big sister named Ellen.

1 day, when she was a mother of some girls named Chloe, Bella, and Jackie, a lovely girl stumbled upon her and said, "Miss, I know not even of your name!" "Miss Sarah," she said. Now, there were lots of witches looking for the answer to life in this abode. They were always having get-togethers and when not then monitoring the house. They had a share in preparing meals and dealing with chores and things of that nature. Anyway, the girl named Christina said, "I know you have all you need, but I am here to be your guardian angel and give you what you don't have. Do not follow me or pretend to even listen, as no one does. I will be your guiding angel!" She reacted, "Oh, no, really, you see dear, I see you need a home, just come on over now! I have 3 daughters already, and you will be the 4th as I see you aren't even an adult." "Oh, but I am. I am old as these hills, young for all time. I am friends with unicorns already and know the great arctic wolves of the north quite well you see!" She paused. "I'd be happy to help your children as I see you are all travellers.." There was not much to Christina. She was really always having accidents these days and being pushed to feel what she does not want to feel. Christina was a half-breed. Her father was an American, and her mother was a pure European. She was not, so no one cared, anymore, and she was actually left quite hurt. So, she went inside and knew Chloe already and proceeded to do the work of the house in her silence. "But you have a mother." "Yes, I have, I was created on the 7th day." She already was no stranger to the mingling of strangers like family, but she could see it was a special thing in this day and age. See, with her being 1/2 from American cave men, who were Caucasian and extinct all but for her, there was a certain unwind to her where she would sit and meditate long and hard on 1 thing rather than do many things. With the help from who her mother is and the lessons she learned from it, she was able to act as though she were all European and all accepted but was always half drugged. She didn't want to get up and do chores but knew she should and glided @ the house all day, as things happen in this way for her, too, though.

Pages

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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Wednesday, March 19, 2014