Issue

I wanted to be happy @ my dad reading my blog, too bad @ the funny feeling, like he might try to pop out some emotion..I mean like feel like someone he's not and doesn't wanna be just to enclose and bother me, get what I'm saying, big guy not my business, mean to me since going to the mental hospital.  People think I am "related" to him in desire.  I dunno, we just don't have that relationship, but I still wanted to have strong relationships with others, friends.  I don't have any!  I don't need to be with my dad so much more but not friends.  I have different desires on who I wanna be.  People are not clones.

Problem

You all act like I need my parents more than you.  Like I'm still a 2-year-old.  I do talk to them..and live with them.

My Blog

I did invite him to go to it.  I just know that he might use it against me, but he won't know what's going on and he doesn't always comment, too, anyway, but no one does.  I just got a funny feeling, esp. with how things are it really messed up the thinking of this.

Question

So, my dad thinks he will keep up with my blog, but he seemed to do it in a way I didn't like.  I've been sending him links to post on my forum, too, not much to comment on on my blog now.  Like, I know my mom pushes me to be a daddy's girl in a way I don't like, like he's all big and ***.  I don't see this happen to other people.  Who's idea is this?  Some annoying racially thing?  What else..  Also, you can comment on my blog and forum.  He didn't yesterday.  So, we won't really know what he wants to think|say @ it.  My mom also came in the room and gave me another annoying secret message, I think a message from someone else.  She just sat and stared at me, inappropriately.  People in Orlando do that, actually, but maybe in a different way..  Why do people push me to be like my parents when I'm better off how I was?  Maybe, they need a taste of their own medicine, though I'm not imposing their own sin on them, just saying.  It's actually quite morbid to me.

Coming Home From School

Isabelle came home from college, her 3rd year as undergrad.  She was 20.  Georgietta ran and jumped to her.

They all enjoyed a nice meal.  The snow was cold outside, and they had to make way for a nice stay.  Georgetta, 8, helped make Isabelle's bed.  Isabelle had white, wavy hair, and her sister of whom she was like a mother to, as well as their own, had curly light gold locks.  They had another sister and brother, who were both older.. the brother the eldest..

They had a nice 2-story cabin.  Father was away at sea, and mother did all the housework.  They lived in the woods and could ride into town within hours.

New Videos

New Videos of Me Singing - 10|10 - bitersweet, smooth, perfection

If I Fall Asleep

2 videos loading that aren't bad, pretty good and free actually.

April Shopping

socks
-white ankle - $4
-black - $4

bras
-2 size 36A|26B - $20
-3 size 36 sports bras - $9

wig
-http://www.voguewigs.com/cowgirl-haute-forever-young-wig.html
-$42
-reddish brown

-$37

What I mean by close..

..is he is acting like he is someone he is not nor that he even would like to be.  He will not act in place of someone born in 1960 or 1970..

Problem

Tim Burton made my dad get close to me, but I am not close to him, I just like talking.  Don't take that a way I don't like, you don't know me..

Upset

Too tired to work out more than 5 minutes of a warmup.  Was going for 40.

New Videos

New Videos of Me Singing - nothing very good yet

Problem

These people are sending me messages with sounds and stuff in my room, and if I had a bad day they just chose to rip me apart.  It was only in thought, too.  I don't like this.  I know it doesn't matter and isn't my fault.

New Videos

YouTube

Problem

I don't know, for some reason I get nervous reactions of violence in my head.

Feel sorry my dad seems tired, too.

Problem

My mom wants me dead forever and thinks I'm my dad, but she won't stop!  I don't wanna be like that ever.  She doesn't have to do that!  I'm too old for her!  My dad is fatter.

Problem

Ellen is making me mad and making it so no one likes me, thinking "1, 2, it's like that," like I'm just shit.  I keep getting annoying messages.  I am trying to ignore them, but for some reason she wants me not to think of certain things, like hitting people.  This has stuff at stake that matter.

The Book on Self-Control

Only stated to prepare yourself entering a room like, nothing @ if someone is playing with your head and you can't get them to leave at all.  What should I do?  I don't wanna listen to them.

I'm not actually a person to them, I'm mixed, how convenient.  WELL, APPARENTLY I AM NOT A MUT.

Upset

I got so upset but now I'm on medicine.  I didn't do anything the police would care @.

I mean it was in my head.

Choices

I'm disturbed enough that if my singing is made fun of by a certain person that I wouldn't actually do it, but that I would if Ellen did it.

I need to leave this place, but I hope my teacher can help me sing, may not even go to Disney next year.

You know, I came here wanting to do ballet and didn't know if I could karaoke online or not actually, so.

Even If They Did

Why?

Bothered

Yes, bad things are coming outta me but I don't think I'd mean it unless I were sure of what someone I liked did to me.  I just got no proof.  Maybe, they "wanna be left alone."

Problem

I have to watch how the page loads each time, too.

Problem

There are crazy noises coming from a machine in here and I think from the neighbors.

Mad

People were mad at me because I checked Twitter when Sarah Brightman might be on.  I see so far she's skipped her daily post on Facebook.  I was checking just to check, though.

Problem

They reminded me @ brushing my teeth when I was thinking @ food.  It's not like I forgot.

Problem

I'm being punished by my day ruined for no reason.  I wanna think @ supper, not @ brushing my teeth.  Then they did another reminder to stimulate someone.  YOU THINK  I'M A NIGGER?  You don't have a right to sit there and push buttons on my life!

Problem

My parents "changed around the furniture" supposedly because of something I did.  I will not accept you people coming in and punishing me like I'm bad.  I even think people like Ellen secretly converse to my parents for some bad reason.  I don't do anything bad.  Just because you picked on other worse kids before does not mean you can pick on me all the time like that.  We should pick on you, instead, if anyone, or those who wrongly went on and on.

Dream

I remember my dad was giving out chocolate.  I turned into a "Photoshopped" little dog or man.  Anyway, then I was like a caterpillar in the Main Street Electrical Parade moving along slowly.

Later, Ellen was in a cave saying only tell them the new discovery if they key is lit up.  I struggled up to hear, something in Eirope I think.

I think it was a dangerous scene.

New Videos

New Videos of Me - but nothing too exciting

Perfection

Why does that gripe @ Ellen, if I can't keep track of a thought?  I know this friend said she used to be more like a valley girl with a rubbery figure but didn't and now is working on something ^bigger and better^.  So, with other people who look either rubbery or more like glass, that connects to this situation?

Mobile Soon

may or may not post

Something Else

I feel doomed if these feisty friends don't get new friends cuz they don't want me.

What They Get

I'm not mad if my old friends get anything, but I don't think they deserve nor earned it.

You can tell I'm like bottled up.

Problem

The English people of the U.S. I know already are rude.  Sad to see popular people connect to their level terror.

Poll: Spam

What do you think should happen for e-mailing friends and family a lot without them answering 1st? Some acted like this was it.

Some of my life should somehow be sacrificed over that of those affected.

I just wanted to say they aren't worth it anyway, all those people are bad, but still you should be affected wrongly.

Some people know it wasn't for a bad reason, but still I wouldn't talk to her.

Sucks for me, if I were in Christina's shoes, I wouldn't take any compensation, wouldn't take punishment.

They should have nicely told Christina why they were acting weird and not responding.

Christina didn't know to get on Blogger, so it's not her fault she didn't know what to do.

I just want the most popular men and women in the world to stop talking|thinking out loud @ it.

The people who didn't answer in time of need should be forgotten or punished a little.

If it weren't Christina, no one would care.

Poll Maker

Well..

Most people think it's bad to be mean to me for e-mailing my friends too much, I'm gonna make a poll available.

Problem

Now, the belly button is still on the side.

Problem

They just won't shut up.  They said this has to do with my mom.  No, it doesn't.

Problem

Now, the belly button moved to the side.

They just did something else, stacked the things I pasted up in between.

Problem

I got another message.. I don't know who it's connected to.  It looks like a belly button.

I got another message and my eyes went out.

They also said they made my nose a button more and that I won't see it..

They won't shut up for good.

I don't like this person so much, they're being so mean.

Okay..

problems.. this has nothing to do with anyone, but does it give you a deep-seated feeling of anger to know that the world teases you and does big things for your friend|s that have neer spoken to you much since they has paid you a visit and a few dinky posts online back in 2006?

See, I used to keep e-mailing if they didn't answer me.  I didn't realize why they didn't want me in their circle of friends.  This friend is doing it like a sport.

I just predicted the future.  If you have to mention it is okay, but I am in deep loathing.

Now, if someone does it I don't really like it, seems a lot of people don't do that.

What can I do?  At least I know how I feel and know why I would feel like exploding and stop it.

I'm listening to myself sing and am gonna get dressed.. I just came here mainly to turn on music.

and I can't believe how tackily happy someone supposedly is by this whole thing.  They never did anything like that before that I know of.

Also, my neighbors keep bothering me.  I think they are timed to do it.

Like, someone who didn't write me back is selfish enough to expect so much from the world to do with me.

What do I do now?  I got some mean messages in my room that sound like clicks.  They are selfish.

Bed Soon

New Video Loading - Let It Go

New Videos

New Videos of Me Singing - initially 8|10, shows technical work

Upset

I feel everyone suddenly thinks I'm trash and stupid.

If something makes you really mad and you don't know what to think, sometimes you think something nasty but might not mean it.  If you're been attacked do not need to be inconvenienced with stress.  If you are so mad you can't control your thoughts means people are just busy plotting against you, like they gotta go potty.  It comes up to them as something that bothers them, but really they do not matter in that way..  It is super *** for something like that to alter your life.  Not much in it in this world.  I don't think anyone has a right to affect me for their own hide.  I'm already "a good person" and what I said is right.

Facebook

link

Sorry?

@ e-mailing my friends too much?  What's wrong?

Mobile

may or may not post

Problem

I'm trying to go back to bed!

So There

I'm left w|o a friend in the world.  My pimple is being made fun of somehow and tried to stay from what someone did for someone on my Facebook.  This was even supposed to nt be spoken @.  You all are just mean to me.  You're messin' with my body!!

Don't even tell me my old friends matter.  They aren't talking and are having an attitude.

New Videos

New Videos of Me Singing - some good stuff

Before

I wasn't necessarily denying what you told me you said.  I guess I just didn't have my thoughts straight.  I'm worried cuz they were mean to me 1st.  No one has gotten mad at me but comforted and bowed down to them.   But I wonder if we will all wonder what about the other people?  I would like other friends, too.  I do have a connection with my old friends, but maybe it's a skin deep relationship.  So, what do you do?  You can't send me to jail nor get anything in court because they didn't tell me to stop.  I thought they liked it, too.  Just didn't write back.  This other girl I was upset but not too too too mean.  I mean why can't we move on?  Yes, it was 2006, a more serious critical time to pretend not to watch.  You'd forgive someone else because they're more interesting to you.  I don't want anyone to ask what's wrong with me cuz it was something stupid I did.  So, that said.. I did say sorry and talk to them a little and never a response.  I just know there's other fish in the sea when it comes to some things.  I mean what should I pay them?  I don't see why I'd think @ it if they don't talk to me, though.  I think it's that they don't wanna talk to me, anyway.  Maybe aren't comfortable or want new friends.

A Real Baby Sitter in 1's Mind

Christina was on the bank of an old town in America and was thinking @ the other girls and what needed to be done.  She could not do much to comfort for they only obeyed their mama.

The sun was up high.  Christina touched 1 girl and swerved her over and told her to put on her bonnet for she already had freckles and grayish hair and a squinted face.  She smiled and obeyed.

A lady took her hand and told her of what was to happen, they were to practice singing in choir.  She was invited to learn to play organ and learned pieces that were not used in mass.  She was 12, but it wasn't too late, yet.

They practiced in choir.  There was a posse of underdogs with her her age.  She ended up at the organ, though, a new addition to the children's choir.

After church they wandered a ways by a dock and had a singing and dancing celebration.  There was a big reenactment.  Year was 1750.  Christina had on her pink frock with spots and hair in braids, bonnet on.  There was mad fiddling going on.  Some older ladies really got into it.

A Proppa Gul

Christina was the oldest girl and had raven hair with a sunny tint.  She sat in church with her Bible, looking forward to what awaited next.  The girls were fidgeting and telling.

All the Witches - all fall down

There was a romantic dude sitting on a rock named Puck Luck.  The girls gathered round to hear what he tell, for he know where the evil spirits dwell.

The Witches of Town Little Big Town

People were still wearing those big evening gowns.  The girls who were little were in their rooms.  Christina was the youngest, age 12.

So, Christina was in her room with her cat feeding it cream.

All the girls and boys of town gathered at once all around.  A merry festival to bestow to the people here below.  They played jump rope and bridges of town, for all the people are falling down!  Christina joined in in merry well, everyone else she thought could just go to Hell.  Instead she fell, and the youngest was picked up.  No reason but accepted it was enough.

Babies Wanting Mommies?

Babies!  Ugh!  Who needs em?

Anyway, there were several girls named Dierdra (20,) Chloe (18,) Sylvesta (17,) Belle (16,) Georgietta (15,) Sally (14,) Christina (12,) Anastasia (11,) and the little 1 Beth-Amy (7.)

Christina was with Anastasia and Beth-Amy.  "I wanna be the baby!" said Beth-Amy.  "Okay," said Anastasia rather forcefully but against her will.

They went outside, but Christina was left alone with some other younger girls and people from town.

She sat on the bank of the lake concerned about the other girls.

Story

There was a special girl named Celesta, which is also the name of a beautiful twinkling piano instrument.  She had slanted eyes and medium blonde hair, blue eyes.  She wore a sunbonnet.  She was very deep and learning @ the world from time to time.  Another friend greeted her with big blue eyes and dark brown hair.  "So," said the 2nd girl, Sophia, "Who's your mama?"  "Oh.. I am a lone maiden."  She started singing some blissful song.  "How.. old are you?"  "I'm 1 hundred years young!" and with that she stripped of her dressed and jumped into the little lake.  Sophia giggled and followed her.

Word Choice

Excuse my sloppy writing, did not really want to appear as insensitive as a brick.

You know..

I write a lot on Facebook compared to others in a way.  So kick me.

Problem

I thought you used to tell me not to worship my old best friend.  She is teasing me about my messup.  What is the real problem?  I'm just a nigger?  Then, why do other people still talk to me..most don't, they do think I'm a nigger but still talk to me and sometimes tell me I'm a nigger.

Problem

My dad said something 3 or 4 times by my boy sac thought it was my girl.

New Videos

New Videos of Me Talking

Twitter Cover Photo Contest

Sarah Brightman

link 1

link 2

Help!

They're making me naturally suicidal!

Accidents do happen..

So, I made a mistake by accident and want to help people.

Issue

You all make statements and were all trash being exposed to things young and then saying I can't do it at the right age!

Liking Me

I thought you liked me.  Maybe, you're like my friends.

You all don't even know who I am.  Everyone caricatures me as a part Chinese.

More Messages

I will not be treated differently for my technical race.

Problem

My mom is telling me I'm not deserving of 1960 born people but others are and went to bed. Ellen said it.  She said it has to be amazing.  I'm not doing anything of the sort!  Those spoiled brats.  I think my aunt did it, too.  You all are criminals.  I can't wait til I die!

Drugged?

If you did something bad to yourself, I won't do it to me.

Problem

He doesn't even think.

Problem

He thinks girls born @ 1960 are all that and wants me as his scapegoat.

Problem

My dad is abusive.  And it's stupid.

Problem

What's your problem?  Why are you always getting mad at me!  WHY DO YOU NEVER MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!  COLD AND LONELY!

Well

No one actually listens to me.  A ha! ha! ha!

Wut??

So, what, you wanna fight or get outta my life?  I don't wanna be testy.  There's not much to be said of it.

Well

I tried talking to them again, they won't talk to me.  They are so stuck up and annoying and think they have to belittle me.  Like, "Ow Kaey."

I wasn't talking @ it, but now I find I am.  It's a problem.

Critical

My mom does not like that.

Pooor Ba by!

Someone English rambles on like they're oh so old, when no one agrees with them.

Conclusion

If someone else is too lax @ you, then you can be lax @ thyem!

Also

I'm just expressing myself.  I wasn't trying to point out people.

I don't care.

So what, you want me out.  What did I ever do?  You all are just coasting along in selfish pleasure.  You'll be sorry you chased nice people away!

So..

The English are stuck up.  Fine, I can see no one wants to talk to me.  All the other non-English want the English, too.  Oh, so fancy!

Question

Why would you reward someone who was mean to me so much?  Didn't talk to me when I had no one.  Never talked to me even when I found something else to do, well maybe not.  What, am I shit?  I might not be in the right frame of mind saying this, but I don't mean it in that way.

Mad

None of you have a right to be mad at me for sending all those e-mails.  They were educational pamphlets!!  Christina had no one to talk to.  She would go mad and die.

Problem

I DIDN'T REALIZE I COULD HAVE A BLOG.

Problem

Oh wow.. lots to tease.

The Problem

Why let the world revolve around miserable brats and bitches and bastards?

To Make Up?

I'm sorry, but I've already apologized enough!  Is this just your fancy?  You like everyone I know better, my worst nightmare.  I have thought of this in my subconscious often in the past.  People think since I'm good I soaked up pleasure they didn't have, but that's not true.

Just tell me.

...what's wrong with what I just said?  You can't arrest me for good.

There's nothing that wrong, I'm still learning and that's how I speak.  I chose to be that way.  Make no mistake.  I didn't mean anything bad against anyone, but these friends who dumped me don't talk to me!  Why talk to me about them?  I just sent educational and uplifting messages.  You know, there are companies that do that like Luminosity.  These friends are mean to me, anyway, does it even matter?  1 of them is almost always mean because I am hiddenly Chinese.

Problem

I wasn't even actually against you, I'm against my old friends so much I cannot say.  The world should s*** them nothing for't.  Look, that's the 1 thing I don't want, my friends in my life.  It's been that way since we were younger, the suggestion that they were important over me.

They just happened to be my private friends.  Do they matter so?  They're the 1s who probably influenced me by being mean 1st!  Why don't you all GET IT.  I'M RIGHT.  You all are just animaling at me.  GET IT DONE WITH YOU BEASTS.  Or I shall be your slave master!

Read this..

only if you know you won't get mad at me I was thinking of chuckin't, but I did a lotta work and it might help me, don't know really what I can do but express my displeasure and disgust in the change of tone etc., things you don't want me ever to say.

Sarah Brightman:

"Calling all creative fans! Sarah is giving you the chance to design a new eye-catching header picture for her official Twitter profile. To enter, tweet your creation to Sarah by tagging @sarahbrightman or upload your photo to Sarah's Facebook wall. Twitter recommends dimensions of 1252×626 and a maximum file size of 5MB. The ten most innovative entries will be added to a Facebook album and all of Sarah’s fans will have the chance to vote for their favourite. Good luck!"

It makes me think of my friends who didn't talk to me in my time of mental need!  Fine and dandy for all who had no problems back in 2005.

Oh my God, something just "went through my head," too, how ***!

That is suggestive, and I know what it really says.  What happened?  You on the other side?  I don't care @ pinpointing ideas.  Tell me, what is this outrage!

You all are just overly sensitive, antisocial, etc. etc.  You are suggesting lies @ "loved ones" if indeed I'd have any.

Look, no one cares about my mean older friends.  They are not supposed to be a thorne on my side, getting attention and coming up in the world.  This is an outrage!  What did they ever do to deserve whatever they're deserving?

These people do not include me in their social life.  WHO ARE YOU TO GO AGAINST MY LOVED 1s?  Is it something they did to you that I thought of?

Yes, my mom trapped me in my room and told me I could work when I was just kicked outta school for poor health of some sort.  For some reason, I never even thought of getting a blog!  Why does everything matter so much now?!

Your post risks losing me.  I wasn't mean to anyone.  I just sent them sweet e-mails and ecards, no word saying no.  I had nothing to do.  Probably no key to the house..yet

Fine, send me animalistic symbols via things in my room, glitches and clicks! after all I worked on to type this out.  You fighting online?  Guess this isn't all it's cracked up to be.. ahee!

They are pulling from loved ones relationship.  Just explain!  You got nothing.  No one does, and I already told my parents I don't care what I say.  What did these friends do to deserve your violence toward me?  I don't like these dorky symbols.  I'm not going along with anything with anybody!  If you're mad, I'll blame you!  What's the big idea, stealing into those in my life and taking what I deserve!?  What a worthless life!  How uptight and stupid is everyone.  I mean what I say, I don't mean something rash.  My only language is English!  And I know how to write.

Problem

Can someone technically be born by mistake?  Yes.  I already smell that Nell Burton is a punishment.  Same with Billy Ray Burton and Helena Bonham Carter.

Problem

My dad thinks he can say go enjoy my life, but he ruined it and says, "..BUT -THEN- IT'S WHAT."

TV

I need mine fixed, some button.

New Video

Loading in an hour - me talking sadly

Mobile Soon

may or may not post

And

Why yo care

Question

Why are you teasing me like I have a chance of going on in life without anyone getting especially mad at me as a college expeller and flunker?